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In “Illuminati Hip Hop Blood Sacrifices Exposed,” one particularly grievous member of Public Enemy calls out some of his industry peers for eschewing their loved ones in exchange for fame and fortune that exceeds the $20 million mark. So basically if you make $19 mil and under, you’re golden; but if you are a Somebody in hip-hop and you want that extra milestone you have to pay the price by sacrificing a person whom you love.

This video, like many Illuminati conspiracy vids, has two major soundtracks: creepy background music and Eminem songs. Popular culture of recent has associated Beyonce as the most visibly active Illuminati member, but this video tells another story. And that story is basically the plot of 8 Mile. Or one would think, I never saw it.

But back to Bey. This video actually doesn’t even mention Yonce at all. It does mention her husband Jay-Z and the tragic loss of his nephew as his sacrifice for fame, even though he was already incredibly famous when this tragedy occurred. It also alleges that Kanye West gave up his mother in exchange for the success of the song “Lucifer,” which he produced for Hova. But the video totally discounts both the absolute awesomeness of “Lucifer” as the best hip-hop song of… ever (seriously, it’s so good), and the fact that the song was featured in the pilot of the epic bro-down that was Entourage. And if we are demonizing things here for glorifying the cult of celebrity, I say we pick Entourage instead.

The majority of this video is very reaching (Dr. Dre’s tragic 2008 loss of his son as his sacrifice for the fame he acquired a whole two decades prior, Damon Dash was responsible for the death of Aaliyah, Irv Gotti tried to knock off Ashanti, of course Tupac and Suge Knight, and the most vile allegation, that Jennifer Hudson had a hand in the tragic murders of her mother and brother in exchange for fame and a Weight Watchers sponsorship) but there were a few things that did make me go “hmm.” The tragic shooting death of Eminem’s friend and collaborator Proof, an event that Em foretold in a music video several years prior, is a pretty compelling coincidence. They also tell a strange story of the death of a musician friend and collaborator of a then unknown Stefani Germonatta. The world was introduced to Lady Gaga just months after the apparent suicide of this young, burgeoning artist whose image was pretty familiar, to say the least. “Hmm” indeed.

Based on the Gaga conspiracy alone, I give this one a B-.

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Illuminati

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